Drøm Elsker

How would you describe your sound to someone who has never heard you before, and what makes it undeniably you?

High-energy explorational indie pop/rock. My music seeks connection to others and to find a place and a people. I have such a hard time with genre, but I think my music is officially in Modern Indie Pop / Indie Rock. I secretly have shoegaze and house influences for creating textured, introverted musical spaces.

What's the story behind the music you're releasing on May 8? Where did it come from emotionally?

This song is about our collective waking up, our transition as human beings from struggle to triumph. Like many people, I've been feeling super down about the state of the world right now. We, as human beings have figured out how to arrange atoms into microchips, but we have never figured out the technology of governing ourselves. Our hierarchical societies are about war and land and someone declaring they're in charge. Now they have gotten our world addicted and sick and sad and struggling. But I think it's time that we rethink our society completely. This is my first attempt at writing about this kind of topic directly.

How do you know when a song is finished?

I know it's finished when two things happen. A) I switch from hating it to loving it and playing it over and over again, and B) when I listen to it, I can't hear anything else that could improve it, or I can't hear anything I should do that wouldn't in turn upset the balance of some other aspect of the song.

Is there a lyric or line in your upcoming release that you're most proud of? What does it mean to you?

It's there in the chorus: 'Together we could be powerful ... but how do we move past our own nature to destroy?' I don't really know if we will ever get there. I hope we can.

What do you want listeners to feel when they listen to your track?

Triumph and hope

If your music were a place, what would it look like?

I imagine the song looking down from an airplane flying low over a dystopian city and then speeding up to soar over beautiful green fields and oceans.

What's your creative process like? Do you write from life, from imagination, or somewhere in between?

I usually start with music, usually on guitar or keyboard. But this time, I started with the drums, keeping the beat by playing along to a radio song in my headphones. I recorded 7 or 8 song tracks of drums, and then laid down bass, guitar, and later keyboard. Then I listened to it a lot until an idea or theme came to me, and wrote about that. The lyrics came when I was filling out the Release Ready Framework worksheet. I added a section 'What do you want the song to say?' and in answering that question, the lyrics came out almost in final form.

What genre do you officially claim, and what genre do you secretly belong to?

I have such a hard time with genre. I think my music is officially in Modern Indie Pop / Indie Rock. I secretly have shoegaze and house influences for creating textured, introverted musical spaces.

Do you make music better alone or with other people in the room?

I perform better when there's an audience, but I haven't played for audiences in 10 years. I make different music working by myself - it's deeper, more layered, and better produced, with fewer compromises. It's MY art.

What's the song you wish you had written by someone else, and why?

Tied for 3: 'Semantics' by NNAMDI, 'Casmir Pulaski Day' by Sufjan Stevens, and 'Pittsburgh' by The Lemonheads. They all have parts of the texture and emotions I'm going for, and they're just magnificent pieces.

Was there a specific moment, song, or artist that made you think, "I need to make music"?

When I was 13, my friend Jason's dad got him a reel-to-reel tape recorder from a yard sale and we recorded a few songs on them (I still have them). I was obsessed and recorded hundreds of tracks in my room and by listening to them, I very very slowly learned to make better recordings and better music.

For those releasing for the first time, what took the longest: making the music, or getting the courage to put it out?

It's not my first time, but I usually release whole batches of songs together as an album (I love the album as an art form). This is a more slowed-down pace than what I'm used to. I've never released a single song by itself before. It feels naked.

What's something you sacrificed to get to this release?

I work away from home all day and in the evenings have many commitments to my family and animals. I worked on this song mostly in the very late nights and gave up sleep. I also gave up working on a business for this period, although I really would like to have a functioning business and control my own time.

What's the hardest part of being an independent artist right now, and how are you navigating it?

Promotion, marketing, and advertising - nothing is intrinsically hard about them, but it feels very hard for me to feel authentic when making social media posts about or of my music. I feel like it's advertising and am afraid it irritates my friends and somehow makes more distance from my audience. I have never discovered music I love this way, so it feels unnatural to ask others to discover me this way.

How has your city, background, or culture shaped the music you make?

I am from nowhere. I have moved nearly 50 times in my life as a child, with the military, or as an adult, all in search of improving life in some way. I come from a very poor background and was homeless multiple times as a child. I don't have a place and I don't have people. This experience has definitely shaped my music. My music seeks connection to others and to find a place and a people.

What do you do when creativity stops flowing? How do you get it back?

I get some sleep. I take time off. I listen to music I enjoy. I do something else creative, like writing, drawing, animating, or art.

Have you ever almost quit? What made you stay?

I quit playing and writing music entirely for two years to try to make an ex-spouse happy long ago. I hated it, and predictably, it did not improve our relationship. I would never do this for someone again. I almost quit this song and release club.

What's the worst advice you ever got about your music career, and did you take it?

My dad was a musician and he said to study something productive in college because you can't make money in music. He was probably right, but I would have benefited from having some kind of musical education, like a minor in college. After the 4th grade, I had never taken a music class or had lessons.

What's the best advice you ever got, and who gave it to you?

Success isn't about whether your music is better or not. It's about whether your nervous system is adapted to experiencing uncertainty, failure, and rejection. I don't know where I heard this.

What did your younger self think your music career would look like, versus what it actually looks like now?

When I was little I imagined myself on big stages playing virtuoso guitar instrumentals for thousands of people. What it looks like (and my favorite part of it) is actually just the creation at home that I do.

Who are you making this music for? Is there a specific person, version of yourself, or community you had in mind?

God / Source / Whatever force exists outside of our universe. And myself. Music is how I learn about myself, and how I learn what it is that I'm supposed to do in this life.

What's something people would never guess about you just from listening to your music?

My #1 favorite band was the silly punk band 'The Dead Milkmen' for most of my life. I have their logo tattooed on my leg. My music sounds very little like theirs.

How do you separate the artist version of you from the everyday version of you, or do you even try?

I had to split myself out into an artist with a distinct name. I was really uncomfortable at having professional success and mixing my professional world with my artist world. I want to be able to take bigger risks as an artist and express more personal things, and I feared if I did anything too crazy I would lose my job or fail to progress in the world of a scientist and manager.

What do you do outside of music that secretly makes your music better?

I explore my consciousness via meditation and continual writing. I spend time in nature sometimes and try to understand animals. I try to really be present and listen to people and understand them.

What's a part of your personality that shows up in every song whether you intend it to or not?

I'm constantly needing novelty. There always has to be some little quirk that makes it not just a standard-sounding song. Every song has to be different in some way.

Are you the same person on stage as you are in the studio, and in real life?

I'm very extroverted and a wild performer on stage. I jump around and go crazy and am provocative. I'm very introverted and quiet in my real life and in the studio.

What's something you've never said in an interview before, until right now?

I hate the band The Mountain Goats. And bagpipes. And harmonica.

If you could only keep one, your voice, your instrument, or your lyrics, which one and why?

Voice - it's the part that's me. I could express my feelings with no words or with nonsense words just the same.

What emotion do you find the hardest to write about honestly?

Happiness. I can write longing and loss, disappointment, fear, regret, lust, anger, etc., but man, when I'm happy, I just want to be there being happy. I can't really translate that feeling so well to music yet.

What do you listen to when you're not listening to music?

Research and scientific / technical topics and sometimes online mathematics courses

What does success look like to you, not in the industry's eyes, but in yours?

I find my people

What's one thing you wish the music industry understood about artists like you?

We should have a separate industry of our own outside of what 'most people like' and 'what makes money'

What's your message to another artist sitting on their music, too scared to release it?

Your song is not your baby. It's your message. It doesn't really exist until it's communicated.

What do you want your legacy to be, not your career, your legacy?

I find my people